Beggars Bazaar or Bizarre Beggars?

There’s this thing about pet food in our house.  Mom carefully measures the food for each of us at every feeding.  I never see her do this when the people are feeding, but maybe that’s why they are way taller than me.  And for some reason, people food just tastes so much better than my dog food.  Or even the cat food (Yup, you read that right.  I sometimes sneak a bite of cat food from the barn cat’s dish!  I am just sooo devilish!) 

So it is, that every morning, afternoon, and evening, when Mom starts to cook it’s a happening thing.  There is a mass exodus from dog donut beds to the dining room.  Places!  Places please!  Foolish as it seems, this is what we look like:

Not one human in sight yet, but we have the cheap seats, uh, I mean choice seats.  The best in the house.  Narry a crumb can fall on this floor without one of us grabbing it up.  This is what dogs do, right? 

Most dogs anyway.  Oh, Atticus, you are such a not-so-dog dog.

You are really ruining the image here.  But then again, a look on the bright side says that there would be a lot less for us if you were to rouse yourself long enough to beg. Um, I mean, be vigilant during dinner. 

I really love my Atti but he has a lot to learn about being a dog.  I keep explaining- it’s after the peeps meal that you take the nap.  Just like Dad.  But Dad’s not a dog- oh, man, dog, whatever, I’m so confused now.  I have to go mull this one over.  At least until the next meal.           

Eight Seconds

Life is so good to me!  Last night the PBR cowboys were on TV doing bullriding.  Gosh, I get so excited when that stuff is on!  The bulls, the bucking, the blood (sorry about that for you faint of heart).  Lights are flashing, music playing, the commentators are yelling.  Whoa, I gotta slow down.  I’m getting all crazed up here.

As soon as I noticed the bulls on the television I was spellbound.

I was right there bucking with Silvano, jump for jump, twist for twist.  Go ahead, give us another bellyroll, we can handle it!  My little heart was about to jump out of my chest.  I did what I could to help him hang on for the whole eight seconds, getting right in the melee-

He made it!!!!  I felt so powerful- absolutely the toughest cowboy-dog on the planet.  I can’t wait for tonight’s round.  All night I dreamed of riding high up there.  *Sigh*  Someday it’s going to be just me and a 1200 pound bull.  And I’m going ride that eight seconds… 

Office Temps

Everyone’s heard the saying “Another day at the office.”, right?  Ok, so this is a story from my mom.  From her lips to my ears to your eyes. 

Mom was at work the other day, checking her e-mail before she started her day.  She was alone, or so she thought.  There was a bunch of ruckus out in the maintenence garage.  Things were being knocked over, papers all over the floor, and the noise- well, I guess it was pretty loud with all that going on.  Mom steps out to see what the problem is- who’s thowing things around and making a nuisance of themselves. 

But nobody’s there.  She thinks it the wind, maybe.

Mom goes back into the office and is again going through her e-mail, when things in her room start getting tossed around.  And then the culprit comes right after my mom!!!  He tried to hit her in the head!! And then the wayward imp tried to escape out the window.  Well let me tell you something about my mom- this isn’t happening on her shift- oh no!  She grabbed a coat and threw it over the escaping trespasser and brought him down, gently.

 Ain’t he just cute???

Since he looked young and under legal adult age, Mom didn’t want to press criminal charges for the unlawful entry and destruction of property, so she let him go with a warning. 

 Good bye, you little trouble maker! 

And they all lived happily ever after.  The End.

The Inner Griff

Mornings can be kind of rough on a Griff.  We require hours upon hours of sleep.  In a bed.  With our peeps.  Hours and hours.  Late night, early morning, early evening, late morning, who cares?  We need to rest.  Did I mention we need hours and hours?? 

You all know by now how dedicated I am as a companion.  Just goes without saying, doesn’t it?  When you go by the moniker “Onecoolgriff”, part of the cool factor is giving your humans the love and adoration they deserve (Which is much less than the love and adoration a Griff deserves.  Just sayin’.).  That said, I have no problem rolling my self out of bed in the wee hours (Man, 8am is early, is it not?), half asleep in frog pajamas, still dreaming sweet dreams of drive-thru bank biscuits, to hang out with Mom.

Now, hold on a minute.  I am not sleeping, if that’s what you think.  We are meditating.  And I take this part of the day very seriously.  I can meditate with the best of them.  I can do marathon meditation.  I can do deep meditation.  If it’s on the agenda, I’m all over it.  And I stick with it to the bitter end:

I feel so much better knowing I have cleared the air about this.  I think sometimes you just have to be clear about your intentions and the rest of the world will totally understand.   

 

And the Bamm Played On…

Too many times, I ask for the toy box and Mom looks at the ever present mess of toys on the floor and gives me the eye.  You know the one.  Let me just say it’s not an encouraging look.  But she’s a softy and so it only takes a tiny dose of my never-ending charm to get that box on the floor.  You see above that I’ve just gotten started.Already I leave a path of destruction as wide as the living room lets me.Oh, the choices, the choices.  I should not do this alone, so I ask Pearle for help:

Not impessed, I guess.  So the Bamm played on…

Come on, Mickey, you can go for a ride-

 

 

 

Banker’s Hours

It’s a pretty sure bet that there isn’t a Griff out there who doesn’t like a ride in the car.  And my girls and I are no exception.  Atticus can’t go in the car because he’s a Puker, Mom says.  I don’t know what a Puker is, but it can’t be good if it prevents you from riding in the car.  So, ANYWAY, I digress. 

This morning the peeps were talking and I thought I heard the words “go to” and “bank”.  Maybe not in the same sentence, but I’m pretty sure it was in the same phrase.  So I laid low and listened:

Sure enough, I hear the words again.  Now I’m on alert, because I don’t want to miss any opportunities:

I was right, she’s getting her shoes on and it’s a car riding kind of morning.  From the moment I decide this, I don’t let Mom out of my sight:

All the circling and whimpering lets the girls know there is something in the works.  Soon we are all at the door, impatiently waiting.  And Mom does not disappoint us.  Hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to the bank we go. 

Goin’ potty first, ridin’ in the car, pullin’ up to the window, bein’ fawned over (AWWW, aren’t we just so adorable???), and finally, finally, the coup de gras- gettin’ TREATS.  Just like ballpark hotdogs are always best at the ballpark, those treats taste so much better coming from the bank than at home.

I’ll tell you, I am one crazy happy dog.  I have pride, just not that much.  It does not make me ashamed to admit that I’m this easy to please.  It doesn’t matter who knows it (goodness, I’m putting it on the internet).  I’d even shout it from the roof top- if I were more than 12″ tall and could get up there.  Maybe in another lifetime…

Oh, I’m a happy  dog, I’m a happy dog.    

 

The Itty Bitty Baby

Going out on the Big Dog Walk is just about a guarantee that I’ll see something incredible.  There is soooo much STUFF out in the big world that I have not yet seen. 

Sometimes it’s scary- I’m thinking about those big Sandhill Cranes.  They aren’t only big and tall, they make the wierdest sound and are really noisy.  They get my nerves on edge.  

Once in a while we scare up (and I mean they are probably very scared) a cute fuzzy little bunny.  That’s always exciting for about three seconds.  Bunnies zig and zag and then they’re gone!!

Snakes kinda creep me out.  I’ve got nothing personal against snakes in general, but they do tend to slither.  Now, that word in itself is just plain icky.  I think snakes get a bad rap just because of that one word.  But it’s not my place to befriend all the snakes and put an end to all the bad press.  Anyone who wants the job can have it.  I just get the shivers….

BUT… we came across someone with a very high cool factor the other day.  He was crawling around on the pavement, of all things.  I know nothing about Testudines (Go ahead, look it up!), but this tiny guy looked like a baby.  So cute, so sweet, so innocent,…you get the idea.  So, without further ado, here is my newest outdoor discovery:

Now isn’t he just as cute as a bug?  And about the same size, too!

We put him down near the pond.  He should not be out on the pavement.  I think, for some reason, he is not wise to the ways of the world yet.

I am so looking forward to our next adventure in the great outdoors.  See ya’all in the big wide open-