Today’s big challenge came in the form of a Maglight.
Now this isn’t just your average Maglight, for those doubters out there who think I’m losing my mind. This one “clicks” and when it does, a light comes out of it’s mouth. Another click and the light in it’s mouth goes away. Unbelievable! A foe with magic powers. So very special, yet unquestionably arrogant.
I laugh in the face of danger. This beast is nothing to me.
But… What, What, What?!?!?
I am only allowed to attack it after the peeps have laid it on the floor? Now what does that prove?? Letting me kill something that has already given it up? What the…
Given half a chance, I could kill it just as dead as the sweeper, broom, lamps, etc. My point being, I am the ruler of my domain, and as such, (and maybe this is just a small-man complex thing) if it’s taller than I am, I can bring it down. (This makes fair play of everything over 9″.)
Com’on Dad, just let the Maglight stand on it’s own two (one, whatever) feet for a few seconds. I’ll knock it out with one punch. Let me at it. I double-dog dare you. I won’t hurt it, I’m just going to teach it a little lesson about messin’ with the man. Click. OK, now I’m pretty sure it looked at me funny. It needs to go down.
Come on, one swing, one round-house, one karate chop, one body slam. Take your pick. Just let me do something, puh-leeeaaasse!
I’ve lowered myself to begging. This is not a good sign, definitely not a good sign.