Yeah, so, I kill vacuums. In more ways than one. Not only do I fill an empty space with my bigger than life dog personality, I also kill vacuum sweepers. The kind that clean stuff up. This is one of my greatest passions in life. I seek them out no matter where they hide. Once I find one, I jump it, bring it down and utterly destroy it. My peeps have to physically pull me off the monster. I bark and yip all of the way out of the room while giving it the death stare.
The result of this obsession of mine is that I get to go for a ride in the car every time someone needs to use the vacuum. Not such a bad trade off for me, I guess. Lots of extra rides in the car!!
Last night it was late when Mom wanted to sweep. Dad said if she took all of the “little rascals” (Uh????) in the car, he’d do it. So Pearle and I (I guess now we know who the “little rascals” are.) loaded up and off we went. And this was no typical ride. We were about to take a ride on the wildside.
We were not in the car two minutes when we had to stop for deer. A mamma deer and her two baby fawns went tiptoeing across the road. The next time Mom stopped the car, I had to get on my front paws on the steering wheel to see what the fuss was about. Now it was a racoon and with three tiny tykes waddling across the road. Go ahead, take your time. Nothing on my calendar right now.
Still tensed up from the racoons, I was on high alert when the opossum stepped out of the weeds right next to the car and began sashaying down the side of the road. Pearle and I were going bonkers! We were in real need of an up close encounter. If we could just check them out nose to nose, nose to butt, nose to anything- just more than an inside looking out view.
Not being nocturnal, most of you don’t realize that in the deep, dark night these sweet animals take on a whole new persona. They may look innocent by day, but the creep factor goes way up once the sun goes down. Oh, the green, yellow and orange glowing eyes. The eyes always show up first, totally disembodied. Just little spots of light floating across a field or bopping a cross the road. Or blinking! Yikes!!
By the time we got home, I did search out and attack the vacuum, but only because it was expected of me. My heart wasn’t really in it. I was still having an out-of-body experience; a block from home, out there in the wilds of Michigan.
Sylvester Stallone would be so ashamed of the way I did not live up to our name, Rambo. Sorry Sly… maybe we could meet somewhere and talk about it. Say, maybe at high noon…